Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Queen of maintenance

... that would be awesome if I was at my goal weight!  I continue to forge onward and I'm thankful that I haven't gained so far during this holiday party season, cause i've had my fair share of parties so far.

This weekend is the long 12 hour drive out east, so I've been busy laundering, packing and sorting through all my clothes so that I can donate the stuff that is too big to family back home.  It's like a second christmas, but with clothes. :)

I haven't been exercising, other than dragging large baskets of laundry around.  I know i'm bad, but at this point, I'm too busy to care or beat myself up over it.  I'm still watching what I eat and sticking to my points as much as humanly possible, which is probably the main reason I'm maintaining instead of gaining... all good in my book.

Ok, so people in the US in states like Florida are moaning that it's cold (30's/40's) well here it is a nice balmy 4 degrees... yup 4 degrees and in Sarnia Ontario (which is about 3 hours west of where I live) there were 240 people stuck in their cars on a snow plugged highway.

Now do you know why I don't run outside in the winter???  It's fricken crazy!  And this isn't even the worst of it yet.. wait until January or Febrary when we get wayyyyy below sub zero temps... Awesome!

I want to move to Nevada...I don't want to wait 15 years until retirement... I need to win the lottery!

That's it for today, just wanted to poke my head in here for a quick update...prove that I'm still alive :)

Friday, December 3, 2010

YES! Bring on the magic!

Awesome!  I have dropped 3 pounds from my 4 pounds and change gain from last weeks time warp /sick week.  I didn't exercise this week due to being tired but I'm starting to feel totally like me again.  I intend to add the exercise back beginning this weekend along with tons of Christmas decorating and gift wrapping :)

I got a comment last week on my blog from an Anonymous reader (Thanks for reading Anon!)  Anon brought up a good point that I had already been thinking about and pondering how to implement.  Simply put, Anon said "Eat less" and "use a smaller plate"  both great tips to deal with the scale in general.  I was interpreting it in a different way with this thought in my head "Maybe Weight Watchers points are set up for people in general and most overweight people are basically sedentary so a big reduction of calories in the beginning when they implement the points system they drop weight fairly consistently and mostly up until they get within 20lbs of their goal weight."   Soooo my brain kept whirling and whirling... I've lost about 20 lbs since Alex and I started running ... my eating has slowly evolved to mostly non processed foods, lots of veg and fruit, lean meats and a fair amount of exercise.  All good things to get into the habit of doing, great long term investments into a healthy lifestyle, but it felt like maintenance without any weight loss results.

In the summer when I did a big push to increase exercise it made a bit of a difference, but I couldn't keep up with that much exercise without giving up cleaning my house :P  Tempting as that may be, I have to balance everything in my life, soooo back to the drawing board... or thinking board :D  What if the points are too generous for me?  What if I were to lower my daily points allowance by a smidgen to see if that would be enough to kick start the scale, yet not cause the body to get stingy and really lock down on the weight loss (aka starvation mode) or worse yet, cause my brain to flip out and cause a-fall-off-the-wagon-eating-festival? *shudder*

You see, currently per the WW system (Momentum Plan, not Points Plus) for my height, age, gender, type of job and being in the 230's, I should be using up 28 points per day (1400 calories)  with an additional 35 flex points per week.  I haven't used my activity points in several months and try to only use my flex points occasionally.   I grabbed my WW documentation and went through it and recalculated the points total as if I weighed 200 (I WISH!) and it totaled up to 25 points (1250 calories) and since Monday I've been following the 25 points and so far 3 pounds down.  It's only been 5 days, but so far it feels good.

It's too soon to tell if this is indeed a good course of action, but with time and some exercise added into the mix, maybe I'll find my recipe to make weight loss magic!

Monday, November 29, 2010

A week of my life is missing!

OK, so it's not that dramatic, but in the scheme of things, it's kind of annoying.  I was out of commission for a week with Strep throat.  Bleh ... No exercise... No dieting... No tracking... No nothing.  Absolutely nothing constructive at all was accomplished... I didn't even write Christmas cards.  I suck!

So to backtrack to the weekend before the big time warp, the experiment went very well and taught me many things.  On the Friday we went to the Keg armed with all their website nutritional info and we came out winners.  My weight did not go up due to the restaurant outing and in fact it went down a bit.  On Saturday it was part 2 of the experiment and armed with nothing really.... things went horribly horribly wrong.  I tried to stick to the veggie trays (thankfully there were 2 kinds of veggie trays) but found myself nibbling on a few cashews here, and a few chocolate covered almonds there.... those suckers add up quick.  Obviously I went to the party hungry, and I really should have prepared better for it...Then dinner was steak with scalloped potatoes.  The steak was probably double what I should have eaten and the potatoes should not have graced my plate at all.  So 3 pound gain for one night out... basically trashed my whole week's worth of work in one evening.

And then I got sick on Sunday.....  which meant I gained more... NO FAIR!

*sigh*

Back at work today, back to tracking, dieting and hopefully this evening I won't be too wiped out to even walk on the treadmill for a bit...

On at least a different note... looking forward to hearing more details about the new Weight Watchers plan.  I'm thinking if things don't start to move around, I may invest in going to the meetings... as a gift to myself... I can always quit after I get all the new books on the new plan if I find that it's too expensive...stay tuned!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Still lot's of room for improvement... practice, practice, pratice

Practice will probably never make me perfect, but practice might help things feel more natural....

I'm talking about how to deal with weekends and especially eating out socially on weekends...  Last week I had Thursday off for Remembrance Day and I did very well, stayed on plan and even got some exercise into my day despite wanting to lounge on the sofa all day :P  I am a couch potato after all, it's my natural habitat.... like the house Hippo in the TV commercial except I don't eat raisins :P  House Hippo

So over the weekend, my plan was to repeat the success of Thursday.  Sounds pretty easy.  Well, Friday I went out with friends for some Vietnamese and I chose my meal very carefully and next day on the scale I still managed a loss.  Saturday during the day I walked a nice long 7.38 kms outside in the fabulous weather, but Saturday night I went out unexpectedly.  Now, there were things on the menu at that place that "I could have" ordered, but I was a bad bad girl.  Alex was there with me, and she put it best when we spoke on Monday  "I think I got caught up in the atmosphere… the pizza wasn’t even good.  And dessert was unnecessary.  Delicious! But unnecessary"  I also felt like I got caught up in everybody's thrill to eat naughty and really didn't need dessert either.  Part of the issue was eating so late... I should have brought snacks with me for Alex and I to munch on while we watched our friends at the Curling Club.  They were burning calories, while we sat down and talked LOL  Not many calories burned there!

So what I get from this is that it's good to know about social outings way in advance to help your brain build a steel like resolve when it comes to reading the menu, bring healthy snacks like carrots and celery to help fill you up and regulate the blood sugar and most of all... nobody needs dessert!

I also have resolved to do some form of exercise everyday... even if it's just walking on the treadmill.   I wonder if I could do 100kms in a month.... hmmmm might be a new goal to set...lot's of kms to strengthen my base so that I can then do the training schedule to run 10km.  Right now I can run 5km without any issues... but anything over 6km seems to make my knees hurt... so I'm working on my base with fast walking and hoping to up my kms to 10km walking and then progress into running again.

So off I go into the sunset... practice... practice... practice....

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Apparently i'm not the only one that thinks i'm awesome :D

On Wednesday afternoon I had an appointment with the Diabetic Team's Dietitians at my family doctor's office.  I've been seeing this new family doctor for almost two years now.  When I told her I was a type II diabetic (controlled with diet and exercise) she set up an appointment for me to meet with her Diabetes team.  That was about a year ago and when I met with the two ladies (I forget their names) they said that I was on the right track with my learning to run with the Couch to 5km and following Weight Watchers on my own.  They gave me their blessing and a pat on the back and sent me on my way.  This year it was two new ladies, Collette the nurse and Bennett the dietitian invited me in and asked me how things were going.

I told them that my recent appointment with my Endocrinologist was a good one with some really great numbers; 6 blood sugar, 126/70 blood pressure, low cholesterol but same weight as 6 months ago.  I told them I had run 4 races this year (5km distance).  I told them I was still following Weight Watchers and slowly transforming the types of food I ate from pre-packaged 100 calorie snack bags and Smart Ones frozen meals to fruit, veggies and as many home cooked (even if pre-cooked) meals as possible.  I told them I was struggling with bouncing around in the 230's for several months now, and that I thought I needed to increase my exercise and be much more regimented on weekends.

You know what those two nice ladies said to me?


  • Your numbers are really good, keep up the good work.
  • Your exercise regimen is really good, we're impressed... even we don't run races!
  • Your eating plan looks very good during the week, we're glad you're switching to more whole foods.
  • Your weekends need work for sure, but you have to keep in mind that if you sleep really late, that messes with your blood sugar levels and that's why your brain makes you go overboard later on in the day.

*DING*

  • Don't be too strict or hard on yourself because we don't want you to abandon everything.  You are awesome and you are doing great.
  • We want you to keep up the good work and most of all don't forget that an occasional treat when out with friends is OK.  You still need to live.


To which I responded "yeah, but we don't have to celebrate every time we go out to eat ... right?"  They laughed and agreed that it's best to make rewards non-food related, but that when out with friends a few extra calories are OK as long as you laugh a lot :P

I'm happy with my progress so far and like most people I know I'm impatient and want more progress.. NOW NOW NOW :P   So I'm going to accept the fact that I'm doing really great compared to how I used to be a long long time ago, and try not to forget how far I've come.  Maybe put up my worst before picture up on my bathroom mirror of inspiration....

That being said, I still want to strive for better.. so I'm going to work harder on my weekends.  It's not in my nature to be so strict that I totally fall off the wagon so I'm not too worried about working on my deviant weekends.  I have to give credit to Collette and Bennett for reminding me (*DING*) about low blood sugars, It's been so long that my blood sugars have been in the really good ranges that I've forgotten the golden rules of diabetics and that is to eat regularly otherwise you mess up your blood sugars.  Low blood sugars can be just as bad as really high blood sugars.. so thanks ladies... that reminder really drives home the benefits of eating 3 meals and some small snacks every few hours to make sure my whole body is a happy camper.  Now if only we can figure out how to re-wire the brain hahahaha

Today's experiment is going well so far..... stay tuned...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Weekend experiments

This past weekend I was planning an experiment....I was going to try and eat as close to a weekday schedule/amount as possible.

Saturday:  Up at 8am, breakfast, snacks, were like during the week.  Lunch was skipped because I had a function to attend in late afternoon and I knew it was going to be point heavy. (mostly wine points)  I still managed to lose weight by Sunday.

Sunday:  Up at NOON!  yeah, you read that right, Noon.  So it would have been the perfect day to eat the regular schedule, but time shift everything... nope.. didn't happen as planned... I gave in to the request for waffles and by the time they were made  and we sat down to eat it was almost 1:30!  I was beyond starving....the waffles were a WW recipe and 8points for 2 huge ones, but it's not the waffles that sent my day out of whack, it was the extreme hunger... the rest of the afternoon was spent making egg bake for weekday breakfasts and homemade WW pizzas for lunches... I tried to eat snacks like yogurt and grapes, but the other snacks that I usually eat require two hands, either to make or consume, so the apple didn't happen and the carrots/celery with hummus didn't happen.  I did however eat a lot of pieces of veggies while prepping my week foods.

It all came to a crash when I just couldn't avoid the hunger anymore and used the leftover veggies with some measured ground chicken combined (unfortunately) with unmeasured rice noodles... those noodles albeit totally yummy were too much and I gained 3 pounds by Monday morning.  *sigh*  I've already lost 2 of the 3 pounds, but the point was very clear to me.  "Don't let myself get too hungry" 

I am liking the breakfast and lunch made in advance thing for during the week, and I think time shifting or otherwise on the weekend can work, as long as I keep eating the same types of foods and snacks.  I have the day off on Thursday and I may try the time shifting thing that day, since I'll be home alone during the day.  

I've read a lot of blog posts from other people talking about planning ahead is crucial to their weight loss success and I can see how that is true, but if I want to live this lifestyle, I really need to adjust myself to real life situations and come up with more strategies and tricks to deal with all the social things we do.  I HAVE to get into the habit of ordering a damn salad with chicken on it when I go out...  HAVE to drop the whining voice in my head that keeps saying "but you're out with friends, you need to celebrate!"  Celebrate what?  Knowing how to put on shoes and leaving the house?  Not everything is a celebration.

Awesome quote that I read today:

"You can't expect to loose weight if you keep shoveling the same garbage in your mouth that made you fat."

Friday, November 5, 2010

Interesting....

So I decided to experiment a bit with my eating this week.... shuffle up the points and eat more fruit & veg and eat something every 3 hours (during the day)  Now that doesn't mean I stayed below my points... nope, not at all... went horribly over my points several times because no matter how good I was during the day... there were several Halloween treats consumed in the evening.


If I go by past experience (and I've got the charts and graphs to prove it) the weekend is what usually breaks me... even if I eat horrible all week (like this week) my weight either stays the same or drops down to at least the same as the week before.  I seem to bounce up on the weekend and creep down during the week when eating is scheduled a bit more rigidly and the items are almost the same everyday (well except for evening meals and free for all snacking fiascos)  So if weekends were not so off kilter or so different, then in theory I could actually drop down into the 220's instead of bouncing around in the 230's for months on end.... right?

This weekend will be experiment number one:  I am going to try the "eat exactly the same type of structured every 3 hours meals"  but time shifted because i want to sleep in.... and see what that does.  Maybe next weekend I can *try* getting up early and eating like a day during the work week.

Most of all, I've got to put the Halloween treats in the freezer, I tend to ignore them when they are in there.. not sure why... out of sight, out of mind?  Besides, frozen mini chocolate bars are hard on the teeth LOL

I've done my measurements for the first time in a long long time, here is the comparison between September 2009 and November 2010:

Chest:  Sep/09  50", Nov/10  47.5"
Bra strap:  Sep/09 ??, Nov/10  41"
Waist:  Sep/09  46", Nov/10  45"
Hips:  Sep/09  54", Nov/10  51"
Thigh:  Sep/09  22", Nov/10 24"
Calves:  Sep/09 16", Nov/10 16"
Arm (Bicep):  Sep/09 ??, Nov/10 15"

That's a difference of 6.5' if my calculations are correct, so I haven't moved much in that department either, but at this point any reduction in size is good in my books :P  I can tell in pictures that my body has changed.  YAY  one less roll to hide... hehehe

So my new official weigh-in day is today and my weight is the same as last Wednesday @ 239.  Tune in next week to see how the experiments work out :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dr. Feelgood!

Birthday and Halloween are over for another year.  Check
Expected weight gain is showing on the scale.  Check
Getting back on the wagon without too much whining about it.  Check


My Endocrinologist (Doctor that follows my diabetes) is happy with my blood sugars (6 - normal is between 4 and 8)  he is happy with my blood pressure (126/70 (i think 70 was the bottom #) - normal average is 125/83) what I'm disappointed with is that my weight has remained the same since my appointment in May :(

So had I not had the b-day and Halloween-I-don't-give-a-crap weight on my butt, I would have shown a weight loss per the Docs records.  He never harps about my weight, he is awesome that way, but I harp about my weight to myself....  He said that I can extend my next visit from 6 months to a year now that I have such great numbers.  That just makes another goal for myself to show a significant amount of weight loss for my next appointment in November of next year :)

I think I still have time to loose a good 10 to 15 pounds before Christmas, so I'm going to try and keep that as my short term goal, since there are no more races for the winter season.

I'm a bit concerned that my right knee and ankle are not enjoying the extra mileage.  It seems that anything over 5km seems to make them twingy and/or hurty... so I'm going to try and power walk my kms up to 10km... especially for the high mileage days during the week and on Saturday for the short run I can actually run that one.

My weigh-in day is getting switched to Friday mornings.  Weekends are still a dangerous time of the week and I think that moving my weigh in day will alleviate a bit of the pressure while I try and tweak my meal plan to try and make weekends more stable.

Alex and I have talked about it via e-mail as we are known to do... and Alex figures I've got two choices... stop sleeping in and eat the exact same way I would during the week... OR sleep in, but still schedule the same meals and 3hr intervals.... so same eating, just time shifted....I'm willing to try both, but I know myself and I'll probably get all pouty and bummed when I miss my sleep in times... I'm not very good at napping... have difficulties falling asleep during the day.... oh well... I'll just have to exercise more and tire myself out...

Zumba classes, here we come!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

5km Rattle me Bones race

I ran my final race for this year on Sunday.  I say it's my final race because I froze my ass while waiting for the start.  It was so cold that I wore a large hooded sweatshirt and gloves and was still cold while running.  BRRRR!  I also tried to keep warm the whole time by running the whole thing.  I only stopped once for a small hill near the water station and strangely enough my finish time was 45:10 and the Army run race in September (with walk breaks)  my finish time was 45:09.

I was amazed that I could run so consistently and for so long, it makes me feel great.  I may not be faster yet, but it shows to me that my endurance is really getting to all time lifetime high :)  I hope I can continue with the increased mileage that's required for the 10km races and that my weight will also begin to drop again with the extra distance.

I do feel really rough this morning tho... oh boy.  Headache, achy body and I just wanted to stay in my warm toasty bed.  Alas, I must work for a living to pay for my "running in races" habit among others hahahaha

The race was well organized and they fed us bagels, bananas, chili, cookies and lots of water after the race.  Ensure was also there handing out a little bag with a bottle of vanilla flavoured Ensure and a pamphlet with some coupons.  I didn't drink the Ensure, it's on my desk right now staring at me.  It's almost 6 points worth in that tiny little bottle.  I can eat a ton of food for 6 points.... so I think I'll pass... might have drank it after the race if it were chocolate.

I'll post a picture of the bib, medal and my cool skeleton hoodie sweatshirt that struggled to keep me warm :)  It was a Halloween themed race, but not many people got dressed up.  My hoodie was pretty unique, so I'm guessing there will be some Zoom photo shots that I can steal later on :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Pictures

That's what a happy 40 year old looks like.
Me with my friend Tonia.  I have beer in hand and I'm just waiting for pizza.  Notice the massive amounts of bling :P



The ambitious 10k schedule
My new toy!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

YES!

*DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE*

I am down another pound... yes! Love it when the scale goes in the right direction.

Last night was my first run after 2 weeks off. I was scheduled to run 6kms, but I told John that I would accept anything over 3kms. I ran 5kms! Because I was wearing my new Garmin in the dark, and I'm still not 100% sure how to use it, I couldn't figure out how to get it to tell me when I'd run for 10 minutes, so I had to keep glancing at the watch. First 1 minute break was after 12 minutes of running... (wow, I ran for 12 minutes and could have kept on going... that was just the first glance) the second break was at 27 minutes and the third was at 40. I'm stunned LOL

It was really cool to see the graphs that the Garmin spits out... it even showed the spot where the skateboarder dude and I almost collided almost giving each other heart attacks as well.

I'm not fond of running outside at night by myself because I've seen too many crime dramas that always seem to have stories about female runners getting killed. Now I'm not cute and skinny enough to be a target... but I might be someday! Besides, serial killers can be chubby chasers too! Aside from the annoyance of trying to stick to large streets with lot's of lights, it was a good run, the air was cool so I wore my running jacket and gloves (thank goodness for those gloves!) and I was back in safety behind closed doors by 8pm.

This morning I defied the laws of nature and actually got up early and did my first ever run through of Jillian Micheal's 30 minute Shred, level 1. It was tough, especially after a night of running (my knees were a bit tender) but I was surprised that I got all the way through it without too many issues. Apparently running has gotten me in better shape than I realized! SWEET!

Today I'd like to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite bloggers Ms. Bitchcakes http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com/

"You are not going to "lose the weight" or get to goal if you don't make the changes - so focus on what you have control over: the changes and the choices you make - NOT the number on the scale."

That quote just really rang in my head like a big GONG!!! Might just print it out and put in on my inspirational bathroom mirror...

Yes, I owe you guys tons of photos... but I can't post them from work... I'll try and get better at that :)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Back in the saddle aka running shoes :)

Time to get back to the running schedule! 40th birthdays are fun and all that, but I am missing my running and since I'm signed up for a 5km race this coming Sunday, I have to get my lungs back in gear.

I might have mentioned this in my last post but this time, for some strange reason, taking a break from running didn't make me feel like a big fat loser hahahaha The first week that I was "away" was a stay-cation that involved a fair amount of physical labor (mostly climbing up and down a ladder) and last week I had a few days off just to bum around in the days around my birthday, but I didn't sit on my laurels (what the heck are laurels anyway? def: award: a tangible symbol signifying approval or distinction Oh well, now we know!) So I didn't sit on my "awards" (ouchy on the buttocks is all I can say there) and I did some fun running around like spending my birthday gift cards and walking around malls in general. Not high intensity cardio, but enough to take care of some of the extra food calories :)

I think at weigh-in this week I will either be the same or one pound or two higher.

But enough of that garbage, I'm tired of maintaining the weight that I don't want to be. I know I have myself to blame, and I know that I've not been dedicated enough to add extra amounts of exercise and way more diligence on the food plan front.

It's time to get out of the 230's and into the 220's and I want to accomplish that before Christmas. It's a reasonable goal, and I think with some reasonable adjustments to my life and renewed commitment to making the scale in the right direction instead of up or horizontal -> that 10 to 15 pounds can be lost before the Xmas family reunion.

I did get some great running gifts for my b-day: Running socks and a baseball cap headlight from Alex and with the gift cards from 4 other good friends I finally bought my geek running nerd toy that I have coveted for awhile.. the Garmin 305. Yes it's the older clunkier version, but I don't care, it's going to be awesome to be able to track my distance.

I was not thrilled with the end of my last running clinic when the group was down to me, the instructor and maybe 2 other people. The instructor would call out the route, everyone would take off and I would make it back to the store before everyone else, not because I'm speedy Gonzalez, nope, because I was so far at the back of the pack that when they would reach the store with their GPS watches and realize they hadn't yet completed 5km, they would run a few more circuits around the street behind the store, but I would have no clue where the heck they were ... so I would do my stretches and go home pissed off that I'd only run 3 or 4kms. Damn my slowness! Now with my new toy, I don't have to rely on others, I can run my own speed without stressing out and I can complete my kms as per my schedule.

Another thing I'm looking forward to testing out is pushing my pace to go faster and wearing the heart monitor to see how much time I spend in that good heart pumping zone. You know, just after getting off the couch and just before heart attack :P

Tonight it's back on the running schedule... not sure if I can run 6kms after 2 weeks off, but I'll aim for more than 3kms and see where that takes me.

I am also planning to try and get my life a bit more organized so that I can do the 30 min Shred in the morning before work a few times a week *shudders in fear* The hardest part is getting out of bed, but I'm sure that after a week or two of doing it, I'll get used to is... but be prepared for a ton of cry baby whining until I get used to it!

I'll try and post some pics of my 40th... after I steal em from my friends heheheh

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Going the distance.... the new distance that is :)

Sorry for the disappearing act, but I took a week off to stay at home. No I didn't sit around, eat bon bons and watch TV all week. I got a lot of stuff done:

Painted upstairs bathroom
Painted french door
Hemmed all living room curtains
Hemmed the powder room curtain
Oil change for my car
E-test on my car
New stickers for my car
Prepared two pans of lasagna, froze one in pieces and fed the other to us and some friends on Thanksgiving.

I even managed to fit in some *me time* which to me means taking myself to a movie, or stop at Starbucks/Chapters and enjoy a skinny Latté and browse the books and "stuff"

I am now working on a new distance: 10km!!!!! That's right folks, I'm finally moving myself forward to a bigger challenge. I pulled a schedule from an online training website, not sure I can keep up and complete 10km in the prescribed weeks listed, but I'm gonna give it a shot!

It's a very ambitious schedule... makes me break out into hives and breath in a paper bag when I look past week 3 LOL

Another thing worth mentioning is that last week when I ran my 5km on the treadmill, I noticed that I was running too slow.... yeah, you read that right... too slow....and I noticed I wasn't breathing hard... at least not as hard as when I run outside... so I pumped up the speed from a 5.5 (pace of about 11:00) up to a 6.0 (pace of about 10:20) and was breathing hard like I'm used to hearing. I do remember my average race pace for the Army run was listed as 10:01, so obviously I'm not hard enough on myself at home LOL Time to take out the whip!! I won't run at 6.0 all the time, but I'll try to do it for one or two of my 10min intervals. Gotta keep pushing the boundries of speed and distance!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

How to build a fire... under your ass :P

So I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to reward myself with a week off after running my last 5km race. Not quite sure why I figured I *deserved* a reward because I didn't beat my personal best, but I guess combined with it being that time of the month, and a strong craving for crap food seemed to make me fold like a house a cards... which obviously didn't take that much effort. During my week off I ate badly a few times which caused some weight gain, and I didn't exercise at all which caused some anxiety, mainly because I kept looking forward to this week when the running could start again. I thought my body would be happy with the break, but I seemed to get more and more tired and my legs got more and more stiff, or odd feeling... not the same kind of stiff that you feel the day after you exercise... just weird.

I decided that unless I'm injured, I'm not going to totally cut out the running... I can reduce the kilometers /miles, but not stop cold turkey. It wasn't fun :( It wasn't fun like quitting exercise used to be. Quitting exercise used to feel like "Oh finally I can't stop subjecting myself to that stupid torture and just get back to watching TV, surfing the web or crafting". Now when I stop running, I think about running more, I read more about running online and in the running magazines I get, I make plans to register for more races, it was like I was becoming frantic about it and had to keep telling myself "it's okay, next week you can rack up the kms again" and that would help for a bit until I'd find another running blog or look at the photos from last year's Princess run. Totally strange and alien of me. Welcome to area 51 LOL

But to get to the main subject that I wanted to talk about: How do you build a fire... under your ass? And by that I mean this: at this point in my adult life, I know how to eat, I know how to exercise, I know what to do. The big thing that is hit or miss is the fire, the burning desire to succeed. It seems dumb to continue to *abuse* myself with another chocolate bar or bag of chips because that instant gratification only adds pounds to my ass and is counterproductive. I know this. I've read countless articles and blogs and books about all this stuff and *I KNOW* but why do I keep sabotaging myself? This is a question that is universal, I see so many people struggle with this, especially women. It shouldn't be gender specific, but it seems to be. Scientifically they say women are made to carry more fat, men have more muscle by default, blah blah blah. Yes, we know this, and I'm pretty sure it's true, because I've seen it in my own household.

I guess what I'm trying to do is get to the part of my brain that needs to not only have that fire lit, but to keep it burning and burning really hot. I am very proud that I've continued my running for this long, and amazed that I haven't stopped that like so many other things... so movement is possible, once you find an activity that you love. So how does one find an accelerant for that fire? How do you keep it white hot? I tell you, if I could find the answer to that I'd be frigging rich AND skinny LOL

In the massive amounts of reading I've done, most experts say that you've just got to want it. Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure most of us want it really bad... sometimes desperately so for health reasons among many others. But allow me to get a bit whiny here for a moment: How the hell do you keep the momentum of wanting it really bad and working for it so hard when it takes so fricken long? Move the Biggest Loser and stuff like that out of your mind for a moment and try and figure out how us mere mortals with jobs, families, responsibilities can achieve this, how can we compete? How do we win against ourselves?

It's not easy, that's for damn sure. Sometimes I feel like an Amazon warrior, fighting against all odds, and just hacking away at the same opponent for days, months, years. It's kinda exhausting, but you can't give up, because if you do, that opponent will win, you'll gain back the weight plus more, get more health problems and die early. We all know this, but I keep making the same mistakes. Maybe it's because I can't see the enemy as something tangible, or as an actual immediate threat. We all seem to think "oh, I'll do it later, I've got lots of time" It takes a lot to scare us into getting healthy....

I think about when I work on do it yourself reno projects.. I usually tackle those until they are finished and really go at it for hours and hours. Hell I remember this one time I moved into a new apartment and unpacked my whole apartment, got all the boxes out, cleaned the bathroom/kitchen, placed all the furniture, put up drapes and had absolutely everything done by midnight... I went so long and so hard at it, that I got a nose bleed. I know, insane in the membrane.... So how come I can't bring that kind of desire and determination to the weight loss thing for any length of time? Maybe if I thought of myself as a reno project that it would go better LOL

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tight shirts, cute army guys and nipply weather aka Ottawa's 5km Army Run

I can't believe I've run three 5km races this year and soon prepping for a 4th... wow I'm easy to impress hahaha

Sunday morning was sunny and cold!  I was going to take the bus downtown like we did for the May race weekend, but it was a Sunday morning and the buses seem to run when they feel like it, so I quickly drove downtown whilst keeping my fingers crossed on getting a parking spot (I should get a medal just for that amazing feat!)

I lucked out and got a great spot in the World Exchange underground parking.  I wandered over to the "Athletes recovery zone"  hehehe  I'm an athlete :)  *ahem* anyway, after pinning my number on, putting my hoodie in my backpack and stashing it with the lugage check people, I headed over to my coral to wait in the cold for about 40 mins in a tight technical shirt whilst trying not to show too much nipplage around the young cute army guys hahaha.

There were less people than the May race, so after the cannon went off and scared the beejezus out of all of us, it took me less than 4 mins to get across the Start.  So i'm freaking out... cause I have no reason to not run up the hill... so I ran up the hill.... DUH!  I should have power walked it.... Anyway, the race went really well otherwise... I tried to catch up to the 40 min pace bunny, but she was gone so fast, I never saw her again.....  then once I got to the point where I could see the finish line and the recovery tents... the 45 min pace bunny passed me!  WTF????  But again stupid me had skipped my last walk break because I didn't want to get too far behind the 45 min bunny.... so instead of giving er hell for the last 500 metres, I kept the same pace and finished with a cannon time of just over 50 mins.

I tried to stick around to find out my chip time, but the results were only printed up to 37 mins and I had people waiting for me at a local restaurant.  Then began the excruciating wait to find out my race results.... I saw the results last night just before bedtime... finally!  I finished with 45:09.  

It's not the 42 mins I was waiting for, but I'm still quite pleased.  It just proves to me that I still love running, I still want to do more and that I desperately need to get me a Garmin watch... cause then I could have pushed it a bit more by keeping an eye on my pace.

As promised... here is a comparison between me of June 2009 and me of September 2010... guess which one is which :P



Thursday, September 16, 2010

Slow, slow, slow but with a chance of high hopes

Down 0.4 at weigh in this week, it's not much, but I appreciate it.  I don't mind slow weight loss, as long as it stays off, but my history seems to indicate lot's of ping ponging within the same "decade" of weight.  I bounced around the 240s, now I'm bouncing around the 230s.

It indicates to me pretty clearly that now that I've got the eating thing mostly under control, I need to add more activity, and more intensity.  So I've decided to sign up for another Running Room class, but I'm going to opt for the 10km class.  I predict lot's of whining and moaning and sore legs, but I also don't expect to run the actually 10km race that the class is geared for :P

#1 - Because the race is the Resolution Run (COLD WINTER!)
#2 - I will be away visiting my family for Christmas and possibly New Years
#3 - I don't expect to easily be able to accomplish 10km distance.

I intend to repeat the 10km class a few times, so if I don't do so great the first class, no biggie, especially since I won't run *that* race... maybe I can run the 2nd race :)

I also want to add more weight training, core training and possibly some skipping... yeah you read that right... skipping....  Loved skipping as a kid, and it's a great workout... I just don't have a lot of room to do it... I'll probably have to skip in the laundry room... at least the ceiling is high hahahaha :P  Oh crap, guess I should do laundry while I'm in there right?  :P

So in conclusion, I'm still a slow runner (best 5km time to date was 44mins 44 seconds) and I'm a slow weight loss loser (20 pounds recently and 85.2 total since the true battle began) but I'm happy with what I've accomplished and I'm gonna keep on truckin' as they said in the 70s.  I've got high hopes to hit the 220's before Xmas... that would be a great gift to myself!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'm a Superstar!

This morning's weigh in was great!  - 3 pounds... wooohooo!  Me likee a lot :)  Now to just continue in the downward trend!

I'm still waiting on the other parts of the Vegas pics :(  Boooohisssss.  I think I may contact my friends directly.. might get the ball rolling... besides, I want to print some of the pics in large size and hang them up!

I got the bf to take a picture of me on my treadmill last night and tonight i'm going to splice it next to that old grey t-shirt picture of me and post it up... at least that's something to nibble on while you wait for my Vegas picture extravaganza.

I'm slowly getting back into the groove of being home, but we still seem extremely busy socially, so this past weekend (long labour day weekend) I took my time and cleaned the house on and off between periods of resting and reading.  I got lot's done, but there is lot's more to be done.  I managed to get 4.2 km done last Thursday and 4km done last night... would have done more, but the need for the washroom became urgent.

I don't know about you guys, but it seems everytime I start running I feel the urge to go.... someone once explained that it's because as we run we clench our stomach muscles to stabilize our balance and by working our core like that it seems to help the digestive system speed things up.  As long as it's not too fast, I'm OK with it... just let me finish my damn run!  :P

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I should have bet money ....

As expected, my weigh in determined that I went up 2 pounds over vacation in Vegas.  I should have bet money on it, I knew that I'd go up a bit, but I also knew that I hadn't gone up a lot because my clothes still felt the same.

Vegas pictures are still in progress, I need to get copies of pictures from our friends as they took a ton of pictures and some of the pictures I want to post up are only on their camera... go figure :P

Tonight is first night back at Running Room after 2 weeks off.  Hopefully all the walking I did in Vegas will have helped me maintain at least the muscle and a bit of the stamina/endurance.  It's still pretty hot around here, so hopefully the wind will continue to cool us off for our evening run.

I've pretty much decided that after this clinic is done I'm going to switch to the Running Room that is closer to my house.  It's a quick drive from my work, but if I want to run the practice runs, it's a long drive from my house.  I'm kinda sad because I really like the people at my current Running Room and I don't know anyone at all at the Orleans location, but I just can't afford the gas that is required to drive almost all the way across town.  Want to save more money and put it towards vacations :P

Monday, August 30, 2010

Winner, winner chicken dinner!

I feel like I came back from Vegas a winner!  I didn't win any money, and I didn't loose vast amounts of weight, but I walked for 40 mins at least twice a day... that's almost an hour and  a half of walking at the bare minimum.  On the scale I think I will either break even or have a small gain, because my clothes feel the same, if not baggier in the ass... but... buns of steel always happen when I walk on vacation :)

Because we had a kitchen in our resort condo, we ate in there for lunch/brunch and only ate out once a day.  A few times we ate out twice and one of the meals we tried to split between the two of us to save on $$ and calories. 

I have food pictures!  I will start posting them tonight.  I was going to post them while on vacation, but between walking, touring, sight seeing, roller coasters, eating out, going to bed late and getting up early, I was too pooped out to do more than watch TV and drink water when we were in the condo....

Pictures to follow and official weigh-in is on Wednesday morning!

Stay tuned :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

One step forward, one step back... rinse and repeat

Weigh in this morning has my weight back up to 236.2.  I could stomp my feet, hold my breath and whine about it until the cows come home, but that's really not going to help anyone :)

It's the week before vacation, I'm excited about leaving and doing all the wonderful things we have planned.  We seem to have a pretty heavy social calendar this week, which I will make mental note that we really shouldn't do that before leaving, but certain things like softball playoffs can't be helped.

I need to get in at least one run this week before we leave, I haven't run since last Thursday and it's weighing on my mind... hahaha and on my scale :)  I'll take the poundage hit this week without too much self hatred and kind of lump it into "vacation mode" but it just fuels me more to make sure I run while we are away.

As it stands I may have more alone time on the trip that I thought I'd be able to have since there are several early morning poker tournaments.  Tentatively I've booked myself to run Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday mornings when the boys are off gambling.  Hopefully while they loose money, I'll loose weight LOL

One bright shinning light of optimism:  I've realized that packing technical wicking shirts is even better than traditional cotton t-shirts:  they are wrinkle free, pack really small, can be used for sightseeing and exercise equally.  Which leaves more room in my bag if I want to buy cotton souvenir t-shirts and I also get to take a much smaller bag, which means less lugging of luggage :)  Yay for the silver lining!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Vegas Baby!

So you're probably not going to hear much from me in the next two weeks because we're going on vacation in Vegas!  Sin City!  I'm not a gambler, I prefer to shop and have bags of stuff to bring home for my money :)  My main sin while i'm in Sin City is usually eating badly and drinking lot's of slushie drinks NOM NOM NOM  *ahem* sorry i'm getting carried away already.

My plan to stay on track is to bring my running gear and get in some kms while we are there... along with some middle of the road food choices that are not too decadent.  That way, I'm hoping that I'll still be able to have a good time and not totally fall off the wagon and get dragged behind it for several miles LOL  We'll have a full kitchen and there is a shuttle to a grocery store, so we can have most breakfasts and lunches in the room, which i'm really excited about... i'll get to see how many extra Weight Watchers products that are available in the US :)

My goal is to break even, it's a big gamble to hope that a bit of exercise (if I manage to get up early and do it) and some decent food choices (if I manage to find any) will work out for me.  This gamble is also compounded by the fact that I'm not taking my Iphone with me (don't want the roaming charges) and I won't have my easy peesy tracking tool with me.  I may try and track stuff on paper (always have a notebook in my purse) but if you're mainly eating out of restaurants and you can't measure your own food and know if they've cooked those "seasonal veggies" in a pound of butter or not, then who the hell knows how many points are in what??

I really love how one of my fave bloggers (http://www.loserforlife.com/) posts pictures of everything (and I mean everything) she eats to stay on track and accountable.  She says that if she's unwilling to show people what she wants to eat, then she shouldn't eat it. period.  end of story.  Maybe I can just use my camera and snap pics of what I eat, so that if it gets too embarrassing (50 pounds of wings and 2 pitchers of beer all to myself) than i'll probably think twice before I go ahead and eat it, if I know that someone will look at the evidence of my gluttony.... besides, pictures would be way faster than writting it down :)

We're supposed to have wi-fi access in the room, I'm not gonna hold my breath, but if we do, I'll try and at least post my food pics!

Wish me luck!  Not in gambling, but in gambling with my food/exercise and hopefully I can at least break even cause that poor horse on my horseback ride is counting on it!  LOL

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pictures!

Since i absolutely have to put up some pictures of the Great Raisin River Footrace on August 8th, I decided I'd get off my ample buttocks and post a few other pics at the same time.  I aspire to be one of those bloggers that puts up pictures everyday and I think to achieve that I'd have to purchase and carry and extra Iphone cable with me everywhere hehehe but it's a doable!

On with the pictures!  I think I'll post oldes stuff first.. leading up to the run pictures:

Picture of me from February 2010
Picture of me with my rented treadmill in February 2010
My new bike!  Gift from me to me after I ran the May 2010 5km race in Ottawa


Got my hair chopped in June, got it cut even shorter on the sides a few days later :)


Running towards the finish!  My finish time was 44:44


This is the whole gang of us that ran the 5km on August 8th, 2010 in Williamstown, Ontario GO PEEPS!

That's all i've got for now :)  Next I really wanted to take a new picture with me in that white running shirt and paste it next to the original pic that is on my profile for this blog so that you can see the difference.  I also want to finish my big bathroom mirror of ambitious things that I want and post up a picture.  More pictures to come peeps!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Raisin Run, weigh-in and big bathroom mirrors

This past Sunday August 8th was the annual Great Raisin River Footrace, which was held in Williamstown, Ontario.  It's less than an hours drive away from Ottawa, nice little place and they were having their fair on the same weekend as the race.  Good idea since i'd probably never have gone to the fair if there was no race :P

It was your typical small country fair with crafts, preserves, quilts, horses and a footrace for added fun.  I was told there were about 1000 runners registered for the 11km and 5km races.  The day started off gloomy with a bit of a chill, we went to the local high school and picked up our race bibs and our ankle bracelet timing chip thingy and made a pit stop in the washrooms.  Then we drove over to the fair grounds, got parked in the field/parking lot and wadered towards the big red barn that was the focal point of the fair. The start/finish line was next to the barn and it had metal fencing on either side to ensure the runners could go through easily to get their chip time recorded when going over the electronic mats.

While we were standing around waiting and finding more and more people we know from the Running Room, lot's of recognizable faces, it started to rain.  Boooo!  Now normally I would have been happy with rain, but it was just cool enough that my hands were starting to get cold.  So standing there in my thin tech shirt and knee length yoga pants made me worry about getting too cold, but I figured I'd warm up a lot while running so hopefully it would balance out.  Just before our 9 the rain stopped.. YAY

Last minute there was a change of plans for the 5km racers.... we were supposed to start at 9am and then the 11km group were going to start 5 minutes after us, but I guess last year it caused some traffic jams when the 11km people (who are must faster) kept trying to get around us slow runners at the back.  So they decided that our 5km group would walk down the end of the road where the red barn road turns to the left and we would stand to the right of the bend and watch the 11km runners go by at 9am and then our group would depart at 9:05.  It worked out great!  We got to see a pretty large group of runners coming straight towards us and then they turned to their left while we cheered them on with hoots, hollers and lots of applause.  I think it helped them because they were all grinning like they ate the canary :P

I didn't hear the master of ceremonies tell us to go (apparently there was a countdown) I just took off when I realised we were on the move.  Lynn and myself had placed ourselves at the back because we know we run slow and it was a good idea because we didn't want to get trampled hehehe  It was a good race, first 10 minute stretch was a bit tough, felt stiff and tired, but the first 10 minutes always seems evil.  While I was running the race I kept wondering if I felt any faster, if I felt better at what I was doing and I couldn't honestly answer yes to any of those questions for sure.  If there were improvements they were too subtle to measure from the May race weekend to August.  I took heart that in the practice 5km we did during our clinic that I'd run in 45:42 or something like that, which was an improvement on my 47:36 of race weekend.  At one point I kind of whinned to Lynn and said "when will doing the 5km feel any easier??"  On the last 2.5 km stretch I just wanted to stop and sit down for some reason... just cranky I guess LOL  I was really hoping that I was faster, but I felt slower, I felt less efficient and I felt a bit sore too....So I concentrated on my running form, roll from the heel to the toes, tuck in the abs and pelvis, pump the arms and breathe!  I should have concentrated the whole way like that because my final race time was 44:44 !!!  YAY!  New personal best. :D

After the race, we walked around the fair, I got a piece of skor cheesecake as a celebratory snack.  We were going for a BBQ at Linda's for supper, so I figured small breakfast, cheesecake for lunch and then BBQ hopefully the points would even out hehehe.  Today I weighed in at more than I was on Friday, remember I was saying I was happy to be back at my pre course weight?  yeah, well it went up over the weekend and back down yesterday/today, but officially I'm down to close to pre-course weight.  I have a feeling i'm going to go up and down several times in the 230's before I can squeeze into the 220's.

I am thankfull for large bathroom mirrors.  This is not me going crazy, I have a point that is fitness, weight and life goals related with that statement.  In my last post I spoke about how Pam had been our motivational speaker before running class and how she made her lists, her realistic and tangible goals.  So over the last few days, while relaxing and watching TV, I decided to take my craft skills and make myself a nice list with stencils and notecards.  First I typed out a list of life goals and a list of things I want.  Life goals were harder to list, but I settled on these:

I want out of life:
- Goal Weight
- Be an Athlete
- Be a running instructor
- Write/Publish a book
- Plastic Surgery

Then because there were still things I wanted that weren't things that I wanted to be, but things I wanted to have, I made the second list:

Things I want:
- Garmin watch
- Size 18 pants
- To be less than 220
- Run the 5km in <42 minutes
- Fit into my brand new never worn blue winter coat (size XL)
- Fin into my leather jacket (size 1X, but feels like XL)

I also made extra cards for Size 16 pants, < 210, <200, 5km in <40, 5km in <38,  so that when I acheive the first goal, I can check mark it and go towards the next goal.

As you can see from the list and the size of a regular recipe card, I'm happy that I have a huge bathroom mirror LOL

I have some pics from the Raisin Race and I think I'll take pics of my bathroom mirror, since it looks so cool.  I'll try and remember to wear clothes when I take the mirror picture... since it's in front of the mirror LOL

Friday, August 6, 2010

Fly by the seat of your pants Friday

Well hello everybody!  I'm happy to report that my weight is already back down to my pre training-week-fiasco weight. 233.2 on the scale this morning wooohooo!  So that was a 3 pounds on and 3 pounds off fairly quick in my opinion... now to get down below 232 and head to those 220's like planned.

I'm not sure what I will do to celebrate 100 pounds lost (when I reach 219) but it's gonna have to be something good... something that I will wear or look at everyday to remind myself how far I've come and how hard I've worked.  Ideas anyone?  Is this mike on? *tap, tap, tap*  LOL

Last night before my running class we had a great guest speaker.  Her name was Pam, she's 61 and she used to be over 320 pounds and used to work for one of the government departments until her retirement.  She's like me, but 20 years-ish older:  I used to be over 320 pounds and I work for the same department as she did :)  Her session was about Motivation, not about weight loss, but it's unavoidable to talk about weight loss when you've lost over 150 pounds... wow, I was quite impressed.  Her topic focused on motivation, and she said the way she motivated herself (with the help of a great doctor) was to write a list of things she wanted to be or accomplish. 

Her first list was something like this:

- I don't want to be really fat anymore
- I don't want to be unappreciated anymore
- I don't like the townhouse I live in
- I don't want to be invisible anymore
etc etc.

Her doctor said it was a great start, but that he list wasn't good enough.  He wanted her to write down positive things, because her list has a lot of negatives in it (unappreciated) and they needed to be tangible, reachable goals.

I can't remember her second list very well, but her final list was something like this:

- I want to be healthy
- I want to live in a mansion
- I want to be published (article in magazine)
- I want to win a medal
- I want to get flowers from a handsome man

Already you can see the trend of the positive thinking, no more "I don't want" and all about the "I want".  Over the following few years she lost 150 pounds, she started walking/running and won a medal in her age category, she had several articles published about her journey to getting healthier, she bought a new house (slight tweak from mansion, but it feels like a mansion to her) and finally after she had her tummy tuck from loosing all that weight, her handsome personal trainer came over with flowers when she was recovering from the surgery.

Her journey isn't over, she's struggling with the last 30 pounds and she has come to another conclusion; she's only struggling because she believes she's let herself subconsciously decide that where she is now is good enough.  She believes that because of that and not wanting to reach her goal "enough" she's self sabotaging herself without even knowing it.  She said the key is to want something so much that you'll do almost anything to get it and at that point my brain made the *TING* sound (in my head of course) which of course signals an "Aha!" moment, and no I don't mean the band Aha LOL  The reason that bell went off for me is because it solidified the idea in my head that has been forming slowly for the last year or so.  Success is about motivation for sure, but it's also about dedication and sacrificing the immediate pleasure, for the long term goal.  Which is something I pretty much already knew, but the part I hadn't clicked on yet, was the fact that I'm capable of doing that, the fact that I've done it before.

I thought back to the things that I've accomplished that are non weight related and thought about how I felt about those accomplishments.  For example, when I went back to school at 32 years old to get my IT diploma, did I want to succeed and get a promotion at work?  You're damn right I did!  And what did I do to accomplish that?  I dedicated myself to studying really hard and I sacrificed some short term pleasure by going on a very strict budget while I was at school to help pay for everything.  The end result was that I graduated with honors, I became an IT technician level 1, which was a promotion from my administrative assistant type job, 4 years afterwards I became an IT technician level 2 and in September I'm applying for a level 3 position....  I graduated in 2004, which means that I potentially have gone to 4 levels of promotion in 6 years.  I wanted it, and I wanted it bad.

Now thoughts turn to weight loss.  I wanted to complete a 5km race.  I wanted it bad.  I worked at it for a year and finished with a 47:36 race time.  I want to complete another 5km race this coming Sunday with a 45 minute race time.  I want it bad.  I will get it, I already got it in the practice runs.  So what is stopping or slowing me from the success of weight loss?  Is it because I'm not dedicated?  I am, but I think I could be even more dedicated to the eating plan.  Is it because I'm not sacrificing enough?  I am, but obviously not enough.

I'm not doing enough.  Why am I not doing enough?  FEAR.

Fear?  You scardey cat of the little points measuring system?  You scardey cat of sweating a bit?

Nobody every drowned in their own sweat and nobody ever goes on Weight Watchers for eating too many carrots.

So what's the dealio?  Come on, spit it out!

I'm afraid of success
I'm afraid of getting to goal weight
I'm afraid of being in a place I've never been before
I'm afraid of the number 150 on the scale
I'm afraid of feeling like I'm not me anymore, afraid that the image in my minds eye will shatter
I'm afraid of things that I can't even formulate into words to put here, it's just a nameless emotion, almost like a feeling of being in a dingy in the middle of the ocean with no oars to move you around and just floating around forever.
I'm just plain afraid.

I'm not sure how to fix it, I just know that as time goes on, as I keep running with the groups, listening to the guest speakers, trying new things like spinning and learning as much as I can that slowly I will figure out how to deal with the fear.  I need to figure out how to conquer it because let's face it.... I can probably get to goal eventually in the long run, someday, but staying there and maintaining will be the hardest part of all if that fear is still with me.

I need to train myself to want it... to want it bad, badder and baddest of all.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Heaving myself back onto the wagon

So I gained weight while I was on training... that was pretty much a given and totally expected.  But was it worth it you ask?  Nope not at all.  The food that I inhaled was not super yummy homemade like your Mom makes can't leave it on the plate kinda food.  It was just free food.  I let the idea of free food get to that part of my brain that likes free stuff.  It wasn't free at all, I'm totally paying for it and it wasn't even good food. 

Bottom line is that I'm not going to crank up a pity party just for me.... I'm just going to heave and haul my ass back up on to the wagon and start truckin' in the right direction :)

I'm down 2 pounds from what I had gained, but I'm still almost a full 3 pounds above what I was the week before.  I'm sure this won't be the last time I gain, but next time, I'm going to hope that it's not as big of a gain.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

One week out of the loop

I was away doing some IT training so I haven't really paid attention to food points as it was difficult to remain good when they had platters full of baked goods at every break, but I did keep up with my running and managed to run a practice 5km in 45:37 which is about 2 mins faster than the Ottawa race weekend results :)

So next weigh in may not see me with a loss... i expect a gain, but as long as I keep up the physical activity and get back to counting the points, I think i'll get back to where I should be :)

Life happens and there is no use beating myself up over delaying my quest to goal by one week.  It's been decades so one extra week is no big deal.  I just don't want to fall off the wagon totally, but since i'm so into running and running several planned races I think i have a lot invested and a lot of enthusiasm to keep working towards my goal.

Stay tuned .... :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

20 minute challenge and the lengths I'll walk for a free hat!

Last night was the 26th annual 20 minute challenge at the Running Room. It was started by John Stanton to prove to people that anyone can exercise for 20 mins. We had set out to walk a 2km route, but there were so many different groups heading out (1km, 2km, 4km) for either a walk or a run.. so there were minimum 6 different "teams" We headed out in the direction we "thought" was the 2km, but we ended up walking for close to an hour... and it doesn't take me that long to walk 2km.. LOL So I went on Google and mapped that sucker out ....and it was indeed 4km... yay! More mileage for me... *happy dance*

I went over my points + activity points yesterday, but I had decided to celebrate a bit with some Pad Thai for lunch... knowing that I was going to exercise after work last night also factored into my decision :) This morning on the scale, I lost more weight! Woohooo Here's to hoping that the trend can continue until the next weigh in... I'm so very close to the 220's ... I can smell it!

The next few days of activity should really help out. Tonight I'm running with a new 5km class... it's a trial thing, I'll talk more about it tomorrow after I meet the group. Tomorrow night is the regular run class, but we're doing something different... it's a field trip to the Nepean Sports centre for a spinning class hosted by our running instructor Linda. In her "other life" she is a spin instructor and she decided that she'd be our guest speaker to talk about cross training and what better way than to have us experience a very good cross training activity like spinning! When she was injured and couldn't run for 3 years, she did spinning and it help her keep up her fitness so well that she felt like she'd never stopped running. I'm not sure how well I'll do because bikes hurt my butt, but I'm willing to try it out.

So, as I was saying, running Thursday night, spinning Friday night... Saturday is a rest day, Sunday is a practice run + Aquafit afterwards and a possible bike ride later in the day with Alex. If spinning class doesn't kill me... LOL I can just see the activity points pilling up now!

Wednesday July 21st
28 points + 4 AP = 32 - 34.9 (points used) = -2.9 points left for the day  (booooo hissss)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The beads of sweat make me smile...

Last night was a good practice run on the treadmill... 4.86 sweaty kilometers :)  I took my time and did it long and slow because I was still not done digesting supper... could have probably waited another hour, but I didn't want to finish running 2 mins before bedtime.  I was absolutely drenched in sweat when I was done.. my whole sports bra was wet, the top of my shorts, everything!  I'm starting to think that the more I work out, the more I sweat.. I remember not sweating that much in the beginning... or maybe it's just that I'm drinking a lot more liquid... so it comes squelching out when I run LOL  Either way the beads of sweat make me smile and feel proud... now to just remember to bring a towel so those glorious beads of sweat stop stinging my eyes! 

This morning was a good weigh in... - 0.2 ... not a big loss, but always a step in the right direction.  It just proves the theory that only eating half or less of your activity points will help you loose more...  I pretty much ate all of them this week.. but I'm pretty sure I could have lost a pound or two had I gotten closer to half.  Next week is a new week and we'll just try again!

Tonight is the 20 minute challenge at the Running Room, which to me means a 20 min walk with friends and a reward of a new red hat :)  They predict close to 600 people will show up... I may have to park across the street, oh well... more walking for me!

Tuesday July 20th

28 points + 11.1 AP = 39.1 - 38.2 (points used) = 0.9 points left for the day (back in black baby!)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Illegitimate food babies...

At Friday's Running Room class we had Pat and Marissa from Flemming Fitness come and talked to us about nutrition, specifically for runners, which was cool. Apparently my approach of having a low calorie Popsicle after the run albeit refreshing is not helpful for muscle recovery aka sore arsed body parts. The two main things that they said that resonated with me the most were that we need to consume less than 12g of sugar in one food item per meal and the other one was that there should be a protein and a carb type snack after your 5km run.

So I sat down and took a good look at my food diary... and found a big boo boo. My almost daily light blended frappaccino indulgence which is under 4 WW points and seemed worth the splurge is not so worth the splurge after all when I see the sugar .... wait for it.... 23 grams of sugar.. IN LIGHT BLENDED... sigh. So even though I've been under my points most of the time, I've been self sabotaging myself with the icy treat. So I decided that yesterday would be my very last frappaccino.. and guess what.. they forgot to make it light blended... so I went over my points yesterday DOH! talk about going out with a bang.

Not to be discouraged by a lack of icy caffeine on hot summer mornings.. I've found a replacement! PC brand Vanilla Latte powder. For 2 tablespoons of the mix and 2/3 cup of water it's 60 calories, 1 g fat and best of all... 5 grams of sugar. Last night I made double that, so 120 calories 2 g fat and 10 grams of sugar (under the limit!) and mixed with 1 1/3 cup of warm water and placed it in the fridge... this morning I threw in some ice cubes and had it as an iced coffee instead of a frappaccino (blender is on the fritz) all for 2.6 WW points. We shall see if the reaps any benefit, but I think it will because sugar is stored immediately as belly fat and that is the main area where I'm carrying bulge.. no people it's not a food baby.. it's a sugar baby... a Starbucks illegitimate sugar baby and I want it gone!

The other thing I'm trying is before the 5km run, instead of eating a veggie sub at Subway for 8 points I'm going to have a ham and turkey salad for 4 points and when I get home I can have a sandwich with carb and protein in it for another 4 points and still end up a the same total, but get the benefits of the body getting the protein and carbs it wants after the workout.... and still have the Popsicle for dessert :P

Monday July 19th
28 RP + 0 AP = 28 - 31.1 (points used) = -3.1 points left for the day (in the hole again dammit!)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Rolling up the weekend...

Good weekend mostly filled with lots of physical activity and majority of good eating choices...  Friday for some reason I wasn't that hungry, maybe because of the heat, maybe because I figured I'd eat more after running... but I didn't even finish my regular points for the day.

Saturday was a great day of rest with a bit of a sleep in and touch of cleaning and laundry around the house.  Could use a ton more of the cleaning and laundry, but it was a day of rest, so I didn't want to wear myself out knowing Sunday morning was going to be the Activity Point Bonanza with a run practice and Aquafit.

Sunday I had a great 4.6km run, even tackled a big hill with a 10 min pace and 9 min pace on the rest of the run.  I usually average an 11 min pace... so apparently I was on fire!  Aquafit was good except for the fact that I didn't get a chance to get into the deeper water, so my knees kinda hurt today... *pout*   Eating-wise I was really good until Sunday afternoon when John asked what was for supper and I decided he should cook.  Didn't take him much to convince me that he should cook using the telephone and ordered pizza.  I only fell to 0.5 in the hole.. but that doesn't fit into the "only eat half your activity points" scheme of things.  I will be good today and Tuesday and hopefully I won't mess up my weigh in on Wednesday morning too badly.

Here is the lay of the land for the weekend roll up:


Friday July 16th
28 points + 11.1 AP = 39.1 - 23.6 (points used) = 15.5 points left for the day

Saturday July 17th
28 points + 0 AP = 28 - 27.6 (points used) = 0.4 points left for the day

Sunday July 18th
28 points + 19.1 AP = 47.1 - 47.6 (points used) = -0.5 points left for the day

Friday, July 16, 2010

Sometimes life hands you too many options...

Since I was so worn out yesterday and sleepy I skipped going for a bike ride, but it turned out to be a good thing.. It was very hot and humid last night. We did compromise and go for a walk after dinner and that was good enough. It was so hot during our 30 minute casual stroll around the neighborhood that I was pretty sweaty. I probably would have been OK on a bike ride, but I'm glad I gave myself a chance to rest and save up some energy for all the activity I'm going to end up doing this weekend. Tonight is the Running Room class and we're supposed to run 4.4 kms. Saturday I plan to do a major cleaning of the inside and the outside (backyard) of the house and maybe a bike ride. Sunday morning is practice run and Aquafit. Wouldn't it be nice to loose 10 pounds over the weekend? LOL but I think that's asking too much of myself :) Gotta keep it real!


About having too many options:  I'm having a bit of dilemma with the running classes. My current class schedule ends Friday August 6th and the next class started last night Thursday July 15th or Monday August 23rd (during my vacation in Vegas). I'm not thrilled with the overlap of 4 weeks, nor am I thrilled with missing the first class on August 23rd and especially not thrilled with classes on a Monday night. For some reason, to me Monday nights are just a night were I'm totally wiped out. Sunday nights I have a hard time falling asleep... like it's the night before the first day of school, so Monday nights I usually pay the price and drag my whiner ass around until bedtime (if I make it to bedtime) Alex suggested that I just take the online classes and run on my own, which most of the time, I don't mind running on my own, but I really really like going to those classes, being around other runners, getting to hear the guest speakers and I really like the people that work at the Running Room. They are all very inspiring to me. So I know for sure I'm going to take more classes, that seems like a pretty easy decision to me, the harder part will be deciding which one.... maybe taking a Monday night class will help me get over the low energy, low sleep Mondays...who knows. I'm going to talk with Pat @ the Running Room tonight and see what she thinks would be a good plan. Oh I almost forgot... I also have the option of Monday nights classes @ 6:30 instead of 7:15 in my neighborhood. Alex and I were meeting in the middle of the city because we live at opposite ends, but if Alex isn't able to continue running for good, then we'd meet and do weight training at the gym, therefore I wouldn't need to drive out to Merivale road for classes, the downside is that I would miss the really great people that work and teach at that location... Decisions, decisions!  Stay tuned for the ongoing drama of when and where the Spud will run... LOL  It's like a soap opera, without the beautiful people and without the great clothes and the high drama... well ok, it's not a soap opera at all ...just in my head :P

Thursday July 15th

Breakfast:
2 slices of Wonder Woman Bread = 1 point
2 slices of low fat cheese = 1 point
2 slices of low fat ham = 1 point
1/4 cup of egg whites = 0.5 point
Grande light blended Caramel Frappaccino = 3 points
1 litre of water (Nalgene bottle full of water & Ice) = 0 point

Snack:
Venti Passion Fruit Tazo Tea Lemonade = 3.8 points

Lunch:
Veggie Sub = 8 points
Apple = 1 point

Dinner:
Mini Pizzas = 9 points

Activity Points: 1.6

28 points + 1.6 AP = 29.6 - 28.8 (points used) = 0.8 points left for the day

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Soooooooo Sleepy!

We played softball in the humid hot weather... I played one inning and my cotton t-shirt was soaked down the front. It was a late game so at least we didn't have to deal with the sun as it was setting when the game began. We lost by 1 point and it seemed to be the fastest game we'd ever played. We normally get to bed by 9:30/10pm and lights out by 10:30/11pm at the latest if the book I'm reading is hard to put down, but last night even with the really fast game and no trip to the bar afterwards I still ended up with lights out close to midnight...


This morning I woke up sore, groggy and wanting way more sleepy time. Oh well the shower helped ... along with the light blended frappaccino :) I think I still feel another coffee in my future to be able to make it through this work day.... ZZZzzzzz huh? oh sorry about that.. I was pondering about what to write about next and kind of zonked out.. *ahem*

Ok, so, I was about to say... went over my points yesterday because we went for coffee and I splurged on a muffin and a cappuccino even though I'd already planned my Pad Thai lunch... so that was a double whammy that my points + activity points couldn't cover, but I'm proud to say that I looked over my points history for the week and I only used 5 points (yesterday) of my flex points! The extra points I used all came from activity points and even those weren't all used up each day.... I should go back and see how many activity points I ate... just to see if the flex points would have covered me as well....um, nope, went back and did some calculations and my flex points wouldn't have been enough... I would have used all my flex + 14.4 activity points as well.... wow... I need to exercise more and eat less... who woulda thunk it DUHHHH

I read in a few places that if you eat your activity points, you should only eat half of what you earn... so although this week I didn't really dip into the flex points, I need to make it a POINT to not eat almost all the activity points as well... aiming for consuming only half of them should be good.

*sigh* I need a nap.. STAT

Wednesday July 14th
Breakfast:
2 slices of Wonder Woman Bread = 1 point
2 slices of low fat cheese = 1 point
2 slices of low fat ham = 1 point
Grande light blended Caramel Frappaccino = 3 points
1 litre of water (Nalgene bottle full of water & Ice) = 0 point

Snack:
Cappuccino = 5.5 points
Muffin = 6 points EEEK!

Lunch:
Pad Thai = 14 points

Dinner:
2 slices of WW bread = 1 point
Turkey, ground extra lean = 6 points
Gravy, 1/2 cup = 0.6 points
Corn 1/2 cup = 1 point
Zucchini = 0 points
celery = 0 points

Activity Points: 0

28 points + 8.1 AP = 36.1 - 41.1 (points used) = -5.0 points left for the day (in the red!!!)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Busy Bees stay out of trouble :P

Weight Off Wednesday!  YAY  I'm down to 233.2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That is the lowest weight I've been in a long long long time... I'm talking like at least 2 or 3 years!  I remember getting close to or just under 200 in 2005, but not since!  WOOHOO  *happy snoopy dance*  OK gotta stop, my cube-mate has just turned around and started giving me the "ok, let's call the people with the nice white coats with all those buckles on em" look.  *ahem*

So, I ran on the the treadmill last night with the new shoes... Oh My God.. it was like running on a cloud... I really should buy new sneakers every 6 months like they recommend... I'm just going to have to pay attention to their sales and buy sneakers then, even if I'm a few months early.. *mental note = add reminder to google calendar*  Because the sneakers were like lite puffs of air cradling my tender tootsies, I really ran hard.. I pushed the speed up from my regular 5.5 up to 6.4 several times (my treadmill has a some set speeds 3.2 is button #2, button #3 is 4.8 and button #4 is 6.4)  I usually walk at 3.2 and then hit button #3 for 4.8 but pump it up to 5.0 all the way up to 5.5.  At 5.5 my pace is about 12:00 which is slower than what we have run with the Running Room... Linda paced us at about 10:00 or 11:00.... sooooo by pumping up my speed I managed to run several times closer to the 10:00 speed which means that *IF* I can work my way up to keeping that pace, I will finish a 5km race quicker than my 47:00 mins from May YAY YAY YAY!  I tell ya, I was one super sweaty Spud!

On the downside, Alex is on the injured players list as her knee is just bugging her too much.  She's going to keep coming to the lectures until the end of class (Aug 6th) but then she's going to continue with her physio and start doing some weight lifting at Good Life and I'm going to join her so that she can whoop my ass into doing some weights... cause I hate it :(  We've also decided to skip the Great Raisin River Run on August 8th.  It's not exactly close to us and we'd probably need a hotel overnight or need to leave Ottawa at 3am to drive there and get ready for an early morning race... therefore we're gonna skip it.  I'm definitely going to sign up for the Army Run on Sunday Sept. 19th, which is cool because it gives me almost 2 extra months to increase my speed!

Yesterday's points:

28 RP + 11 AP = 39 - 36.2 = 2.8 points leftover

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Another Weekend Wrap :)

Well folks, instead of posting oodles of info about what I ate all weekend and boring you all to tears, I figured I'd just post my totals because I actually did very well so i'm not too shy about posting the numbers hehehe

Friday was 28 regular points + 11.4 activity points = 39.4 and I used 38.7 for a balance of 0.7
Saturday was 28 RP + 7 AP = 35 - 30.9 = 4.1
Sunday was 28 RP + 16 AP = 44 - 42.5 = 1.5
Monday was 28 RP + 0 AP = 28 - 27.2 = 0.8

I did pretty well considering we went to a BBQ on Sunday night and I tried to keep a mental total in my mind, but it's hard to judge when people bring 3 different kinds of salad yanno?  I can't really grab them by the colar and demand that they provide me the nutritional info LOL  Tempting as it may be at times :)

The thing that really helped me out was the amount of activity I did; Friday night was a 4.2 km run, Saturday afternoon Alex and I did a 12 km bike ride, Sunday morning was another 4.4 km run followed by 45 minutes of Aquafit.  I think that is the key to weekends.. just workout until you're too damn tired to eat LOL

I'm hoping to run on my treadmill with my new sneakers (about 6months overdue!!) so that they can break me in properly before Vegas.

I absolutely refuse to mention my weight, good, bad or the same.. until the Weigh Off on Wednesday morning... I don't wanna jinx it!!  Wish me luck!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Who pressed pause?

Thursday was pretty uneventful. I got up, went to work, got groceries, went home, ate supper, watched TV. I should feel guilty for not doing any form of physical activity, but I don't really. I was tired and I decided to give myself a day off (yeah I know.. too many of those already) I just figured a day of rest before Friday evenings extra hot and sweaty run can't be a bad thing :P

I think we're going to end up running in the rain, and I'm totally fine with that... even brought along a white shirt to ensure that the rain comes (you know Murphy's Law) LOL

At least my eating was good and civilized yesterday, no eating in the evening and I'm quite proud of that. I want to see if I can avoid eating in the evenings to see if it will make a difference. Many people swear that they don't eat anything after 7pm and that they feel that it contributes to their success. All I know is that I'm going to have to invest in a frack ton of gum to give me something to chew when those evening snack cravings start rearing their ugly fuzzy orange heads in my direction :P

See the FEED ME Monster on the left there...

I feel like I slept well last night, but I woke up this morning feeling like I wanted to sleep a lot more! I usually feel that way on really rainy cold days, but it's definitely not cold and only 30% chance of rain.

I keep thinking about my bike sitting in the garage and my bike seat sitting in our entrance on the bench.... they need to get together and have fun under my butt.... um, not in a kinky way.  I really want to go for a nice ride this weekend.  They say the temps are going to cool off a bit, so it might be a perfect time for my butt to say hellllloooo to my new bike seat :)

My bike seat has two gel pads where your sit bones would land... I'll have to take pics of my purple bike and the cool seat.. OK, I promise!  Pics to come!

I don't think I'll post pics of me in my dorky helmet... but pics of the bike are no problem hehehe




Thursday July 8th

Breakfast:
2 slices of Wonder Woman Bread = 1 point
2 slices of low fat cheese = 1 point
2 slices of low fat ham = 1 point
1/2 cup egg whites = 1 point
Venti light blended Caramel Frappaccino = 3.9 points
1 litre of water (Nalgene bottle full of water & Ice) = 0 point
2 - 500 ml bottles of water = 0 point

Snack:  Crispy Minis = 1.8 points

Lunch:
Veggie salad = 0 points
Turkey = 2 points
Italian dressing, 4 Tbsp = 0.4 points
Croissant = 6.7 points

Dinner:
2 Egg, Turkey & cheese sandwiches = 8 points
Watermelon = 1 point
Diet Pepsi = 0 point

Activity Points: 0 (someone pressed pause :P)

28 points + 0 AP = 28 - 27.8 (points used) = 0.2 points left for the day

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The heat is on!

Yesterday was an awesome day... I started it off with my early morning run (2.3km). It was short and sweet, but I think it helped me out for the whole day. It's very hot this week in our neck of the woods (43 degrees on average) and most of us aren't used to that.... but I drank what felt like close to 4 litres of liquids and that combined with the early morning run seemed to have given me an energy boost for the whole day, helped me avoid the dreaded heat headache that lot's of people have been talking about and I think ultimately helped me feel like the heat wasn't that bad while we were playing softball. Some of the skinny people were having issues and I thought one guy was going to hurl, but I was feeling great. Yes I was warm and sweating a lot, but I wasn't nauseated, I didn't have a headache, I felt energetic and best of all I felt like I performed really well at softball. I got a really good hit out past the short stop when usually I hit infield only. My running to first base felt tight, controlled and faster than normal. I felt like I was on fire...in a good way!

This morning the scale was down too! I won't talk about the number for fear of jinxing it, but I'm hoping to keep that number and go even lower! I didn't run this morning because we only got to bed around 1am and I figured sleep was more important, but I plan to do some kind of physical activity this evening after my grocery run.

Tomorrow night is run class, I don't have enough practice run time under my belt for this week and I fear that the class is going to be tough especially in the heat, but I'll water load all day and hope that it helps me out for the evening heat.

Wednesday July 7th

Breakfast:
2 slices of Wonder Woman Bread = 1 point
2 slices of low fat cheese = 1 point
2 slices of low fat ham = 1 point
Venti light blended mocha Frappaccino = 3.6 points
1 litre of water (Nalgene bottle full of water & Ice) = 0 point
2 - 500ml bottles of water

Snack:
Thinsations cookies = 2 points

Lunch:
Veggie salad = 0 points
1 cup pasta (macaroni) = 4 points
Tuna = 2.4 points
Italian dressing, 4 Tbsp = 0.4 points
diet coke = 0 points

Dinner:
1 cup corn = 2 points
1/2 cup cous cous = 1.5 points
Tilapia 9oz = 6 points
Popsicle = 2 points
Thinsations cookies = 2 points
diet pepsi = 0 points

Snack
2 slices of pizza = 9.6 points
diet pepsi = 0 points
16 oz water = 0 points

Activity Points: Running + softball = 13

28 points + 13 AP = 41 - 38.1 (points used) = 2.9 points left for the day